Mike looks hurt, wounded even, and Wills chest tightens as he realises he’s just said what’s been going on in his head for weeks and it’s just as worrying as he knew it would be.
You’re better off alone. Better off dead. If you’d just died like you were supposed to none of them would have been dragged into this.
He doesn’t have time to think about it as the lightening strikes worryingly close and Mike drags him in as if he can protect him and they won’t just both fry. Will would deserve it, or at least that’s what people seem to think, God striking him down would be a fitting punishment for his sins. He sniffs and tastes metal in the back of his throat. He doesn’t even have his Walkman, he left without it. He’s put himself and Mike in danger and he can’t even figure out why he was so convinced that this whole thing was necessary.
You’re putting an end to it. You want answers and I’ll give them to you if you come to me. Tell him he can’t stop you.
The whirlwind of thoughts loses some momentum as Mike speaks.
He lied. He lied. You shouldn’t be glad. You are a bad person for being relieved that he lied to her. She deserves better. But he is relieved. Maybe he is a bad person. His mom, Mike, Jonathan, they’ve all told him to stop apologising, that he doesn’t deserve the bad things he thinks he does and there’s always been a part of him that thinks they wouldn’t say any of it if they knew the truth but maybe… Mikes words bring a sort of clarity that cuts through the mess.
There’s definitely blood in his mouth.
“He’s in my head,” Will manages as the horror slowly dawns on him. Nightmares, nosebleeds, terrible thoughts, seeing things that aren’t there. All the things the party talked about happening to everyone Vecna was messing with. All the times he’s been unable to shake off the worst, most negative things he thinks about himself. “He’s been there the whole time.” That’s almost a relief too, he’s not broken, he’s being fucked with.
“I don’t want to die. I don’t want to give up.” Will doesn’t need music, he doesn’t need to hide in the happy memories, because the more Mike speaks the clearer it all gets. “And I’m not letting him drag you down with me.”
All the times Will has dared to hope and had it torn down, sabotaged by his own fears. The Mindflayer, Vecna, which ever one of them is responsible, need him to feel worthless and hopeless and he’s sick of letting them make him enough to be brave. “So you’d die without me and you lied to El and I lied to you, I don’t know if she feels like I said she did,” this is not how he ever pictured this going, “but I do and I’m not letting him curse me without being honest first.”
Lightning flashes again, Will can almost feel it buzzing across his skin. “So I’m sorry, or you’re welcome, or just uh… Fuck it.” He grabs Mikes wet shirt collar and yanks him into an inelegant, very wet kiss.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2024-10-02 11:36 pm (UTC)You’re better off alone. Better off dead. If you’d just died like you were supposed to none of them would have been dragged into this.
He doesn’t have time to think about it as the lightening strikes worryingly close and Mike drags him in as if he can protect him and they won’t just both fry. Will would deserve it, or at least that’s what people seem to think, God striking him down would be a fitting punishment for his sins. He sniffs and tastes metal in the back of his throat. He doesn’t even have his Walkman, he left without it. He’s put himself and Mike in danger and he can’t even figure out why he was so convinced that this whole thing was necessary.
You’re putting an end to it. You want answers and I’ll give them to you if you come to me. Tell him he can’t stop you.
The whirlwind of thoughts loses some momentum as Mike speaks.
He lied. He lied. You shouldn’t be glad. You are a bad person for being relieved that he lied to her. She deserves better. But he is relieved. Maybe he is a bad person. His mom, Mike, Jonathan, they’ve all told him to stop apologising, that he doesn’t deserve the bad things he thinks he does and there’s always been a part of him that thinks they wouldn’t say any of it if they knew the truth but maybe… Mikes words bring a sort of clarity that cuts through the mess.
There’s definitely blood in his mouth.
“He’s in my head,” Will manages as the horror slowly dawns on him. Nightmares, nosebleeds, terrible thoughts, seeing things that aren’t there. All the things the party talked about happening to everyone Vecna was messing with. All the times he’s been unable to shake off the worst, most negative things he thinks about himself. “He’s been there the whole time.” That’s almost a relief too, he’s not broken, he’s being fucked with.
“I don’t want to die. I don’t want to give up.” Will doesn’t need music, he doesn’t need to hide in the happy memories, because the more Mike speaks the clearer it all gets. “And I’m not letting him drag you down with me.”
All the times Will has dared to hope and had it torn down, sabotaged by his own fears. The Mindflayer, Vecna, which ever one of them is responsible, need him to feel worthless and hopeless and he’s sick of letting them make him enough to be brave. “So you’d die without me and you lied to El and I lied to you, I don’t know if she feels like I said she did,” this is not how he ever pictured this going, “but I do and I’m not letting him curse me without being honest first.”
Lightning flashes again, Will can almost feel it buzzing across his skin. “So I’m sorry, or you’re welcome, or just uh… Fuck it.” He grabs Mikes wet shirt collar and yanks him into an inelegant, very wet kiss.