All the color gathered in Mike's face drains at the harsh whisper, his mouth falling open slightly at the condemnation came from Will of all people. Regret hits him hard and fast, nearly knocking him over and sending him hurtling back in time to another rainy fight. His expression falls into one of instant remorse. "Will..."
But Will goes on and Mike winces at the way he uses the word as a weapon. Not only does it mean that he hasn't fooled anyone all week, least of all Will, but that Will knows exactly how much he dislikes it and is using it against him on purpose. His mind blanks at the next bit of information. Why would Will's boyfriend not like him? He's never even met the guy!
And then there's a certain kind of hilarious irony to the fact that Daniel hates him for the same reason he hates Daniel. Because he makes Will miserable. Because he broke Will's heart. And even though he's carried around that knowledge with him every day since that day he'd done it, this is the first time Will's said it out loud. It's a critical hit. Guilt settles on his chest, crushing it down and making it hard to breathe. Mike's breath picks up as his body determines if it's safer to fight or flee or freeze. He freezes, staring at his best friend like a deer in headlights.
He presses his tongue against the roof of his mouth, desperately fighting the sudden urge to cry. He had wanted to make Will feel better, to get him away from everyone else and try to help, not push him into this. He knows the only way he can avoid crying is if he gets out of the car now. If he walks away from Will. If he closes the book and ends the story because trying to change the ending is just making it worse. He lets out a shaky breath and swallows down the sick feeling gathering at the back of his throat.
He doesn't get out of the car. He does lick his lips and grind his teeth together to fight the urge to cry as he slowly buckles his seatbelt and looks out the passenger window so he doesn't have to look at Will. The first chords of Tainted Love plays over the radio and Mike feels like the universe is singing his thoughts out loud as he tries to pull himself together.
When he trusts himself to speak, he does, his voice quiet but thankfully sounding more steady than he feels. "I'm not over it," he says, slowly. "I'm still scared too, sometimes."
He forces himself to look over at Will. "I think part of me always will be. There's so many bad memories. I don't blame you for not wanting to be back here."
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Date: 2024-04-09 11:58 pm (UTC)But Will goes on and Mike winces at the way he uses the word as a weapon. Not only does it mean that he hasn't fooled anyone all week, least of all Will, but that Will knows exactly how much he dislikes it and is using it against him on purpose. His mind blanks at the next bit of information. Why would Will's boyfriend not like him? He's never even met the guy!
And then there's a certain kind of hilarious irony to the fact that Daniel hates him for the same reason he hates Daniel. Because he makes Will miserable. Because he broke Will's heart. And even though he's carried around that knowledge with him every day since that day he'd done it, this is the first time Will's said it out loud. It's a critical hit. Guilt settles on his chest, crushing it down and making it hard to breathe. Mike's breath picks up as his body determines if it's safer to fight or flee or freeze. He freezes, staring at his best friend like a deer in headlights.
He presses his tongue against the roof of his mouth, desperately fighting the sudden urge to cry. He had wanted to make Will feel better, to get him away from everyone else and try to help, not push him into this. He knows the only way he can avoid crying is if he gets out of the car now. If he walks away from Will. If he closes the book and ends the story because trying to change the ending is just making it worse. He lets out a shaky breath and swallows down the sick feeling gathering at the back of his throat.
He doesn't get out of the car. He does lick his lips and grind his teeth together to fight the urge to cry as he slowly buckles his seatbelt and looks out the passenger window so he doesn't have to look at Will. The first chords of Tainted Love plays over the radio and Mike feels like the universe is singing his thoughts out loud as he tries to pull himself together.
When he trusts himself to speak, he does, his voice quiet but thankfully sounding more steady than he feels. "I'm not over it," he says, slowly. "I'm still scared too, sometimes."
He forces himself to look over at Will. "I think part of me always will be. There's so many bad memories. I don't blame you for not wanting to be back here."