Mike doesn’t fight back. He’s supposed to fight back. It’s too late to undo the damage by the time the anger dies. At least now he knows how Mike must have felt when he turned and ran instead of keeping the argument going. Mike who was clearly trying to help, who has always tried even when he was messing it up. Guilt cascades in and Will tries to choke everything down. Focus on the road. Don’t crash the car. He kind of wants to crash the car, just not with Mike in it, he’s done enough.
Sometimes he forgets that hurting Mike means hurting himself too until he’s done it. Maybe they’re just really bad for each other. Will needs to let him go but he can’t live with the idea of letting him out of the car to walk the last three streets. He knows he shouldn’t drive and cry but he can feel the tears seeping into the collar of his shirt, the streetlights halo at the edges but his vision doesn’t blur enough to justify pulling over.
He can’t even be mad when Mike speaks again and he’s still being gentle, Will doesn’t deserve gentle. He doesn’t want it either, he wants Mike to be angry with him and to make losing him hurt less. Will keeps his breathing as quiet as he can, tries not to let it show that he’s crying. He’s good at it, practiced, silent crying is a skill he’s had plenty of opportunities to perfect.
The car rounds the corner of the street and Will doesn’t want to. He could just keep going and not look back. Take them both far away from monsters and other people’s cruelty, run until there’s nothing left to run from but himself and maybe when they get there Mike can talk him out of doing that too. But he can’t. Mike deserves so much fucking better than him, that’s why Will let him go in the first place and he doesn’t understand why Mike insists on coming back.
“I’m sorry.” He manages as he pulls up to the Wheeler house. “I was upset with myself, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He sounds like fucking Daniel, maybe that is who he’s supposed to be with, someone who comes across as gentle but has a vicious streak. It’s not like he’s any better.
no subject
Sometimes he forgets that hurting Mike means hurting himself too until he’s done it. Maybe they’re just really bad for each other. Will needs to let him go but he can’t live with the idea of letting him out of the car to walk the last three streets. He knows he shouldn’t drive and cry but he can feel the tears seeping into the collar of his shirt, the streetlights halo at the edges but his vision doesn’t blur enough to justify pulling over.
He can’t even be mad when Mike speaks again and he’s still being gentle, Will doesn’t deserve gentle. He doesn’t want it either, he wants Mike to be angry with him and to make losing him hurt less. Will keeps his breathing as quiet as he can, tries not to let it show that he’s crying. He’s good at it, practiced, silent crying is a skill he’s had plenty of opportunities to perfect.
The car rounds the corner of the street and Will doesn’t want to. He could just keep going and not look back. Take them both far away from monsters and other people’s cruelty, run until there’s nothing left to run from but himself and maybe when they get there Mike can talk him out of doing that too. But he can’t. Mike deserves so much fucking better than him, that’s why Will let him go in the first place and he doesn’t understand why Mike insists on coming back.
“I’m sorry.” He manages as he pulls up to the Wheeler house. “I was upset with myself, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He sounds like fucking Daniel, maybe that is who he’s supposed to be with, someone who comes across as gentle but has a vicious streak. It’s not like he’s any better.